Mysterious Prune Drink

Happy New Year to you drinks fans!

Here we are in the new year, and a new drinks cave, to make merry with the most high spirited of drinks or die horribly in the process.

Today’s offering is a mysterious brew purchased in an interstate supermarket nary to be seen again.  Entitled “Prune Drink” in English, the remainder of its content and origin shall remain a mystery thanks to the Drinks Master’s illiteracy in Chinese.  However one reassuring visual cue was the ring of “MMMMMMMMMMMM” stamped prominently on the lid – surely evidence of sound of deliciousness.  A brief crawl of the online world revealed that the brew was known in various restaurants of the world, although remained an unnamed mystery beyond “Prune Juice”.  It shall therefore be forever known as “Mysterious Prune Drink”.

Prunes are commonly thought to aid in the relief of constipation, as they are rather high in fibre.  Word to the wise: don’t guzzle prune juice lest you wish to get to know your local commode on a much... much more intimate basis.  Prunes are also chock full of sugar, “One serving of prune juice accounts for 80 percent of the recommended daily sugar intake if you are a woman and 53 percent of the recommended daily sugar intake if you are a man” (http://www.livestrong.com/article/468770-drinking-prune-juice-before-meals/#ixzz2GytyvG77)

Prunes, as we all know, are merely dried plums so it may be more logical to consider this more a plum drink.  However, not fazed by the dire risk of diarrhoea, your hero took the plunge (into the drink not the toilet) with gusto.   

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less

Mysterious Prune Drink comes in a small portly glass bottle secured by a metal screw cap, which reminded your hero of the ‘Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch’ from Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail.  The metal screw cap served to be a mighty adversary, which was puzzling given that the stereotypical audience of prune intake are older citizens.  But, after some grunting and squeezing, the cap released with a loud ‘thock’!

Inspection of the opened vessel revealed no noticeable odour or curious floaties, foam or fizz; just a watery brown liquid (expect to see that again if you drink too much).  Discharge into the standard model Drinks Master assessment vessel (aka glass) introduced no surprise effects, explosions or aural discord.

First sips released a sweet yet smokey fruit drink, which provided distinct, yet subtle, hints of prune.  Further slurps culminated in a flavour akin to flat weak cola.  Overall the flavour wasn't offensive, but it was unnecessarily sweet, likely due to added sugar.  Perhaps this is the underdeveloped palette’s version of a more sophisticated brew?  It’s difficult to advise what this drink would best be paired with, aside from a newspaper or a good book.

Having consumed a full 300ml bottle of Mysterious Prune Drink, the Drinks Master now lays in wait for the intestinal malarkey that may follow.  Stay tuned drinks fans, for a more spritely and cleansed reviewer is on the horizon.